Inside The Mind a work of Fiction by Farry (Aaron Farrant) When you can become your own god why fear sin? Oh yeah, this is NOT your typical vampire story, baby. I ran the tips of my fingers over the newly formed scab, the wound healing before it had a chance to bleed. The sharp pain stemming from the sliced flesh congealed in my nerve centre, my eyes squinted and my lip curled. As the pain reached its climax I lashed out with my diamond-sharp fingernails, forming deep rivulets in the manís cheek. His rapier clattered to the ground as he tried to restrict the flow of blood. The smell and taste of the rich liquid played on my senses, turning my pain to hunger. I brought him closer to myself, taking his hand away from the gash and using my canine teeth to fully open it. As I drank away his life I heard the word ëGodí escape his lips. I wonder whether it was truly a cry to Jehovah for help, or merely a hollow saying of habit, its true meaning long forgotten. Once all the blood had been drained from his shell I felt his life within me. Donít misunderstand me, when I say life I donít mean his personal disposition, I mean the pure force of life given to him by god. What cannot be created, manipulated or learnt. I felt his strength adding to that of those who came before him. I felt his strength become my strength. I felt the answers to questions which had seemed impossible before come to me as if I had always known them. And then I felt darkness consume me. When I awoke it was in a place foreign to me and an hour I was uncertain of. The room had no windows, so I did not fear sunlight but the quiet and dank atmosphere made me feel on edge. I strained all my senses searching for some clue to betray my location or anything of certainty. I sat for a long while like that before He entered. Iíd seen him once before I was sure, but in a time and place that did not seem to exist. He spoke to me in such a low tone that I could barely hear him above the din of my thoughts, He spoke words that did not seem English, but I understood them still. He was certainly the oldest vampire I had seen, his years did not show on his face but in the overpowering aura of knowledge that surrounded him. ëWhere am I?í I asked him in my softest tone which seemed obscenely crude compared to his own delicacy. ëNowhere.í I was too anxious to attempt to decipher his riddles, I asked him to explain. ëYou are inside your own mind, your body has become redundant. This is the universe within your consciousness.í I was not sure if that was a metaphor or not. ëHow can I be inside my own head?í I pictured myself as a Babushka doll, an infinite amount of miniature versions of me, one inside the other. ëYour mind is not a physical thing.í ëI donít understand.í ëYes you do, you just canít explain it in the terms you are used to. Try to understand it without putting it into wordsÖnow do you see?í He was right, I had enough lives within myself to become an independent existence. I realised a thousand things simultaneously, God was no longer my lord and saviour, I was my own god. I realised ëHeí was a part of myself and I could now pass through doors of my mind and become complete. My Godhood begins now. Created on Thu, 4 Dec 1997 and last modified on Sun, 7 Dec 1997.

LOUDonline - http://www.loud.net.au - Fri, 10 Apr 1998