Never resist a mad impulse..? a Rant by Groovy Girl 1311 (Patricia Gould) Ever had a strange urge to do something completely insane? Ever had one of those strange impulses to do something completely insane? Well...If you havent heres some ideas ranging from the childish and obnoxious to the truly wicked! Remember when you were little and you and mum went to the supermarket and one of the isles was sooo busy mum left you to watch over the good ol' supermarket trolly. 'Now stay RIGHT here until I get back.' she said. Well now were older and gone are those days... or are they? Insane urge number one: Tag along on one of mums supermarket trips, preferably on a really busy day find the most crowded spot where all the trollys are trying to get through. Then park your/mums trolly right in the way of everyone and when people ask you to move say in the most childish and annoying voice possible 'But mum said to wait right here... and i promissed.' It's guaranteed to piss quite a few people off! You know those days when there's millions of people going to the shops so it's almost impossible to find a park and you sit in a car just driving around for around half an hour just looking for a park. Insane urge no. 2: (beware this won't work well if your a guy) Make sure your equipped with a handbag for this exercise... and a trolly with shopping in it. When the carpark is so full that people begin to go around and around several times looking for a park its time to start work. Walk around the carpark until you know there are cars behind you stop at the boot of a car and stand there rooting around your handbag for a minute (by this stage there should be some car waiting behind you with turning lights on to signal that thats their park etc) then pull out of your handbag one of the following... Lipstick and a mirror... fix your lipstick the keep walking A shopping list... read the list and keep walking A mobile phone... pretend (otherwise it could get expensive) to make a call and then keep walking N.B. Make sure the mobile doesn't ring while your making the call. Anything... fake relif that it was there and keep walking. This is going to annoy the unsuspecting person who thought they were going to get a park. Now for something completely insane... Insane urge no. 3: "Borrow" a shopping trolley from a nearby supermarket. Find a reasonably steep hill, make sure there are no witnesses... let the trolley roll down the hill and hope to god that it doesnt cause a car crash. Can you just immagine what the owner of the car would say to the insurance agency... ' The trolley... it just came out of nowhere...' You know those young people who in the dead of the night Blow up letter boxes... Boring!!!!!!! Its time for a change! Lets play swaps... Insane urge no.4: Pick two houses which have the same house no. but are on different streets. Late one night dig up the respective letterboxes and swap them. This is much more fun if you know the people whose letterboxes you swap because then you can check up and see if they noticed. Created on Wed, 28 Jan 1998 and last modified on Fri, 30 Jan 1998.

LOUDonline - http://www.loud.net.au - Fri, 10 Apr 1998