patience a Rant by paul- (Paul Italiano) please stop trying me. this is the first edit of a new bit of rubbish i had to flush out of my system the other day. i can't stand people who abuse friendship as a tool to vent their sadism and frustration. nevermore. :> You push me but i'll just stay right here i'll let it roll off again and i'll let you have your little victory my pain the spoils of a silent battle you stay in your positions, and you say to me you're trying. but so far the only one trying, is me. To believe what you say. It makes me feel a little better, even if just to hear the words, no matter if deep down i know they can't be true. It's like when you smile at your ex lover, and say you'll always be friends... But hidden behind your forced smile, you want to plant a proverbial knife in their heart, so that they can see the colour of life turned to hurt when it hits the cold air. so that they can watch it flowing out between the hands they grasp the wound with. just like you did, so long ago. And you want them in fits of exstacy, the throes of passion underneath your reign. Driving them far beyond any peak they have ever reached before, leaving them breathless. Just so you can be the one to yawn and look bored. Toss their feelings away like used kleenex. You only really want to teach them a lesson, because underneath all the pain, you want to hold them so close again. You want to tell them it's alright, you understand, and as long as they never do it again, you'll always love them truly. You could never intentionally hurt them. You just want to feel their heart beat again. and you still push me. I try to stay here just the same have to make it roll off again cause if i fight, i'll only tire and i don't know how much more i can take. Their real heart, not the childish one that was so unlearned, and didn't realise the full impact of its actions. Their real heart, the thing that would be left after you taught them the evils of their ways. After they glimpsed into your soul and saw the stain they left. So much pain and sorrow, but you would tell them it could all be buried, just to softly touch their face once more. That in the shadows that lay deeper than your fears, love still is blooming from that shallow grave you placed your feelings in. Things would be so different ...If only you could really believe it. If only i could believe you but again you push me and i've been staying too long my will has sat beneath me It seems it tires me more and *i* promise *you*, you'll never push again then maybe you'd believe me Related Web Site Created on Wed, 28 Jan 1998 and last modified on Fri, 27 Feb 1998.

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