An Occasional Interplanetary Odyssey a work of Fiction by Yife! (Adam Bayes) The simultaneous adventures of Steve in a world where synchronicity IS reality! THERE was little contact with the outside world, only the crooning of an occasional astray seagull to add some noise to the otherwise silent soundscape. Of course there was the lapping of the waves against the lighthouse, and the pounding of the waves in the fury of a tempest. At first the sounds reminded him of sudden bursts of thunderous applause at an opera and bombs detonating and the thumping of a heart. But the ocean's symphony largely went unnoticed now, becoming a backbeat, background elevator muzak, the aural canvas on which foreign sounds were painted. The landscape, or more correctly seascape was equally as barren. From the lighthouse, the sea could be seen to stretch to the horizon in all directions - the horizon arced circularly around the lighthouse, it was like floating on a disc of water. It is a solitary life, personing a lighthouse Öparticularly this lighthouse. Most structures of this sort are perched on cliff edges, warning sailors of the seafaring evils that are land and reefsÖ Ö This lighthouse was peculiar. The smallest distance to any land was three-hundred kilometres. This lighthouse was constructed to prevent ships from sailing into it! It existed to keep itself existing. Futile? Crazy? ÖWell, in his submission, Steven drew an analogy with evolution: surely at a base animalistic level, every living creature exists only to keep it's own species alive - we all have a primal drive to survive - surely this is equally as futile. Humans obsess over sex to propel life, the lighthouse shone to stay 'alive'. Steven had christened it "Pedro" soon after he arrived, and after months of solitary confinement he oftentimes would speak to it - though he tried to pretend that he was just talking to himself. Another curious aspect of this lighthouse was its structure. The depth of the ocean far out in the Pacific was some two kilometres. Steven didn't know how the lighthouse was supported - he knew the foundations couldn't extend that distance, perhaps it just floated there; or it rested on the back of a turtle, which in turn rested on the back of another all the way down to the sea floor; or maybe a charitable Foundation supported it? Steven didn't know, he could only speculate, but what he did know was that maybe if he thought there were no foundations, there wouldn't be any. And he was not prepared to take that risk. On one occasion Steven almost went crazy. His water purifier broke, and he was unable to distil fresh water for several weeks. And so he was forced to turn to salt water. He fell into a psychosis, or more accurately psychosesÖbut fortunately his dear friends Pedro and Vaux were able to save him. But Steven hadn't seen any humans for many months now. Occasionally, very occasionally - and it was an occasion when it happened - mail was dropped to him from a seaplane that would fly by. Steve had a great deal of trouble initially as his area of ocean hadn't been assigned a postcode. After much ado, the postal service begrudgingly delivered his mail if it was addressed: '1 Pacific Ocean, Pedro Lighthouse'. The co-pilot would hurl the package out of the cockpit, where at about one-hundred metres, a small parachute would inflate with air and the water-resistant letter would be thrown around in the wind, fly around the lighthouse a few times and drop into the ocean. He would see the package bobbing in the tumult of the sea and would then make attempts to snare it with a fishing line from the lighthouse balcony. On the occasions that he occasioned to do this, it occasionally worked - in other words he mostly had to row out in the dingy to retrieve the solitary package. This involved opening the lighthouse hatch, sliding the boat into the water and closing the hatch behind him (to prevent water getting in). This was one place you didn't want to forget your front door keys! THAT would not just spell disaster, it would novelise it and syndicate it to all good retail stores and airport lounges throughout the world - except Cuba. The truly scary thing about a unitary life - away from the humans was that your mind would sometimes wander - and it wandered to some bizarre places. It was not constrained to such mundane tasks as mindless chatter with the neighbours and dull, inane office work - mostly it could just think freely about anything that it liked Ö ÖOn this particular day a letter arrived! Steve rowed out to fetch the package and was suddenly overcome with a near nauseating fear (or was it sea sickness?). What if the lighthouse won't let me back in? he thought. 'Open the hatch bay door, lighthouse', 'I'm afraid I can't do that Steve.' He seemed to remember something similar happening in a movie Ö2001 or somethingÖHe rowed frantically over to the hatch - leaving the mail bobbing in the ocean - he pulled mightily on the metal-clad hatch, the blood rapidly pulsating through the veins in his arms - it wouldn't open - it was refusing to open - 'I'm afraid I can't do that SteveÖ' His mind would often wander - sometimes he would imagine that the lighthouse was actually a NASA spaceshuttle, the sounds of the crashing waves becoming the roaring of the massive engines propelling the rocket through the atmosphere. He would look up out of the glass-domed roof of the lighthouse and out into the galaxies of stars. The stars shone brightly out here - for there was no artificial light forÖ Ö3.2674 million light years to be precise at 11:17:36 AM GMT. 'Wake up Commander Verne ÖSteven . . .' whispered his assistant, Pedro. '- Oh, sorry, I just had the strangestÖ' 'Could you help me plot the final landing coordinates. We will be approaching Sector RR701 in approximately 17 hours, sir.' 'Excellent. That will of course depend on the strength of the central planet's magnetic flux Ö' Steve added, brandishing his superior scientific knowledge whenever he could. 'Preliminary examinations show that the planet has a very high iron content which suggestsÖthat we'll be arriving sooner rather than later' added Pedro, speaking colloquially, always liking to keep the conversation simple. Steve knew exactly what had to be done in the ensuing hours. The landing would need to be precise, at the antipodal point to that of the only true mountain on the planet, St Clarence. The base would be built by one of the onboard Von Neumann machines. The crew would stay until the machine had made two replicas of itself - so that the original could be repaired by its offspring if something was to go wrong. Then they would take-off on a flight which would take them deep into the adjoining sector - RZ? RP Öwhat was the letter? was on the bed. He couldn't recall fetching it - something happened with the hatch - he really couldn't remember. Anyway it was here now. He grabbed the letter, unfastened the parachute quickly and with anticipation, tore out the contents. St Clarence House Dear Steve, Just a brief hello. How are you? Since you can't answer that question just now, we just thought we'd pop over for a visit. We haven't seen you in ages! We'll see you on Friday at about 6:00 PM. Love, your friends, Vaux and Peta. XOX Vaux and Peta back again! They were just here last week weren't they? Steve had completely lost track of time. 'That's so nice of them to write', he muttered to himself, 'I'll have to get prepared and clean up this joint. . . Ö it's all I've got, it's the last.' 'What? You mean there were others?' Steven asked in astonishment. 'Yeah, of course. How else are you expected to relax around here? I mean it's hardly a natural environment.' 'So you just thought you'd bring a bit of nature with you? I just don't think you should be indulging in THAT when we're on a mission as representatives from the planet EARTH - yes the PLANET - not just some insignificant little province in rural China ÖI mean the smoke will destroy the instruments, if it hasn't already, and it's going to make the place smell - we don't have any air freshener, and when Generals Vaux and Peta board the probeÖhow did you get it on board anyway?' 'I said it was herbal tea - you know Japanese green tea - I said it was a part of my Zen tea ceremony - they couldn't discriminate against me because I'm a religious person - you know how the law works.' 'But you're not a religious person! ÖOh, all right, I'll have a Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Hollalee Ö' Peter, Paul and Mary's voices worked their harmony within the lower room. Steve always played this song when Vaux and Peta visited. None of them were ever really into folk, but this song was an exception - it brought back memories of the long passed childhood they had spent together. The probe landed exactly as planned and connected to the temporary ground station. General Vaux was the first to enter, Peta having more trouble entering as a large wave caused the plane to suddenly jolt upwards, obscuring entrance to the hatch. Quickly she jumped across the gap and Steve secured the seaplane to the lighthouse with some chains. 'Water General Peta?' asked Steven. 'Coffee Vaux?' Steven asked. 'How have you been keeping Steve?' Vaux and Peta asked in unison. 'You're looking really great'. Steven liked Peta and Vaux's company, they always knew exactly what to say. The Generals sat in the pod seats and sipped through pink straws on their much appreciated glasses of water. General Vaux's eyes surveyed the ship, checking, superficially, that Steve and Pedro were keeping the pod in good order. But then it happened. Pedro edged his way in from the adjoining chamber, carrying one of the probes hand-held defence lasers. The aqua beam was clearly visible on General Vaux's head. The Generals were both unarmed - this was supposed to be a routine friendly visit. Vaux rose out of his chair and nervously asked 'Is this some sort of joke?'. 'Just fuckin' stay where you are Vaux, and you too Peta!' yelled Pedro. Steve was frozen in time. He couldn't move, not even his eyes, as a vision flowed into his mind: an archaic seaplane dropping a package, a letter. The letter splashed into a sea of letters stretching to the horizon in all directions. It fell, not into an expected monotonous seascape but a monotonous letterscape. 'You fuckin' know don't you! You're gonna take me in aren't you?' cried Pedro in a fit of paranoia. Vaux pleaded, 'Listen Pedro, whateverÖ' The seaplane glided overhead, in its usual easy motion. Then, suddenly, a loud bang rippled through the lighthouse dome and Steve turned to see the plane in flames. The Generals lay dead on the probe floor, both shot in the head. Pedro turned the laser on himself and moments later fell in a heap on the ground. The plane continued in its trajectory, spiralling towards the lighthouse. Within moments it had shattered the dome, smashing the light which, within moments had started a fire, further fuelled by the plane's petrol. It was so ironic, the lighthouse was ablaze and it was completely surrounded by the ocean which could do nothing to quell the ferocity of the flames. Quickly Steve ran downstairs, opened the hatch and jumped into the dingy. Steve thought harrowingly, 'it'll burn to the ground Öor rather sea'. Steve beamed Polska, the nearest probe unit, using the EQCS (Emergency Quantum Communications System). His recorded message was spoken thus: To: Sender: Commander Steven Verne -------------------------------------------------------------- MESSAGE START. 'Attention! There has been a terrible disaster. Lieutenant Pedro has slain Generals Vaux and Peta and then committed suicide. I have stored the bodies in the cryogenics unit for possible organ salvation. I am unharmed and am continuing with the mission to Sector RS101.' MESSAGE STOP. Steve received a reply seven minutes later on the GMDU (General Messages Display Unit). To: Commander Steven Verne Sender: General Vaux Augustus -------------------------------------------------------------- MESSAGE START. 'I'm not sure that I find your humour particularly amusing. I don't have to tell you Steve that the EQCS is for emergencies only! I know it can get lonely on these solo missions, but you must refrain from such juvenile pranks for your so-called entertainment. I'll arrange for a return trip home if you'd like, but we'll discuss that later. On a lighter note, Pedro asks why he was the killer?' MESSAGE STOP. The universe was before him. He headed for the planet now feeling strangely contentedÖon his own. Created on Mon, 26 Jan 1998 and last modified on Thu, 19 Feb 1998.

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